Men and women differ in a variety of ways and can often appear to be speaking two different languages when it comes to their needs and wants in a relationship. Knowing the inherent characteristics that are important to a woman can help to alleviate some of the confusion that so often happens between two people trying to build a partnership.
With that being said i decided to get some responses from my inner female circle by asking them “What are their deal breakers for a relationship”. In short, what are their ideal requirements they want to see from a man before entering a relationship. Guys take notes! And read the responses below.
His future intentions for the relationship are in line with mine (for it to be God led and eventually lead to marriage).
I’m sure I’m the only one he’s pursuing.
He will have enough time and energy to make a relationship work as well as juggle his life.
Open to learning/clear about why he wants to be in this particular relationship.
Source of income.
Isn’t already in a relationship.
None…once you’ve fallen in love you excuse anything and everything.
He must be single & if he does have kids no baby mama drama.
Free from emotional baggage, the ability to be passionate & share love with me unconditionally.
Confidence that whatever happens it won’t feel like a waste of time.
Trust In our honesty to say when we are messing up or afraid of something.
Not too comfortable – keep aspects of life before the relationship, put in work for each other.
Keep it real Be 100.Don’t be cheap. Have Respect.
Be able to hold more than 3 conversations.
Sometimes u meet people and have that one great conversation that one time, then after that a week later u have nothing to talk about.
Have a sense of humour that I can relate to.
Good time management.
Be able to separate work time for your lady time.
Christian, humorous, ambitious otherwise it’s a no go.
Communication, considerate and honesty.
As selfish as it sounds my biggest deal breaker is a man with child/children. The idea of coming second best on every occasion is tiresome especially when you know that rightfully it should be no other way. It causes instant strain and also stunts opportunities to grow and experience the ‘firsts in life’ it’s instantly unbalanced in my opinion.
As a stability mechanism the second biggest deal breaker would be unemployment. In a relationship the role of an equal is not supposed to be hindered by the role of mothering. If within a relationship my partner lost their job that’s a different matter but if you haven’t got your money right, I have learnt majority of the time you haven’t got your mind right.
The third deal breaker would be immaturity. To an extent I can aid growth, I am not adverse to moving forward and growing TOGETHER but I REFUSE to raise anymore boys into men for others to benefit from… You can miss me with all that lol.
Belief in God, my family shouldn’t object and i shouldn’t have reservations about his ability to commit.
I’m a bit of a job snob. Needs to be in or seriously working towards a good career. If they do repair work at Sainsbury’s for example, I just think that they don’t have ambition that matches mine and I need that in a partner. Although I do worry that I’ll be turning down some otherwise good guys because of that reasoning.
And I guess of course a similar outlook on life and interests. The more open-minded the better. He needs to have a healthy opinion on women and relationships. No players or misogynists.
He should be in a career . He should want to have a family and a committed relationship. He should have values similar to mine; loyalty n respect for e.g.
He’s takes his responsibilities as a man seriously, for example: looking after his family. He listens. He shows that he cares.
The only main thing i have is that i have to be friends with them 1st before a relationship.
Are you a Christian? Do you have kids? Is the main thing for me.
I had one main one then I met the guy I’m seeing and he pursued me till I gave up and went out with him so I guess its not that much of a deal breaker cause I’m still with him.
I guess a criminal/gang member or convict would be a no no. I have no interest in “road men”. You def need to have some form of job or executing a future plan/purpose.
No baby mama drama, bisexual men, addictive behaviour ie drugs, strippers, alcohol etc etc.
I gotta know where he is at spiritually.. that’s an important part of my life so I’d only consider a relationship with a guy that has a consistent relationship with God ..would want the foundation built on that first.
Vision, direction , knows where he is headed ambition wise .. I don’t want to be with someone who has a divided mindset… it can affect choices. His priorities need to be in check.
I’m not really a trial an error girl so I’m in it for the long haul …he has to be family orientated and aspire to have his own one day .. marriage etc…that’s ideal for me so we have to be on the same page regarding that.
Sharing similar interests, loves Christ and has ambition and goals for themselves.
At the “you’ve caught my eye” stage, the biggest deal breaker for a man to have to qualify in my space is definitely having the some of the same interests as mine. 95% of the time, I’m a house-cat: I like to relax at home, clean, cook, read, write, listen to music and be in my quiet. While I’m doing that, if he’s okay with chillin’ and playin’ video games or doing whatever pastime, then I know we can be around each other because we’re comfortable in each other’s silence.
Being open-minded is the second biggest deal breaker. I know I’m very opinionated, spontaneous and outspoken. In the “you’ve caught my eye stage”, I will pick certain things that I like to do to see how he will react. This deal breaker gauges the guy’s personality as well. It determines if you are going to have elevated conversations as well as being able to be comfortable enough to let each other’s guard down.
Most importantly, you can never get anywhere without honesty! The “you’ve caught my eye stage” is where you get to discover each other. At this point, this is where you get to decide who you want them to see and what you both want to share. Answers to certain questions such as “What’s your home life like?” “What are you studying?” “What made you ask me out on a date?” give you an immediate insight on this person’s mentality as well as long and short term goals (if you are interested in pursuing a long-term relationship with this person). As Maya Angelou said: “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
These are the responses from my amazing peeps! Next Sunday, we will be back again for another RU TALK topic!
P.S i promise i will finish Male Fears part 5 & 6 soon. If you want to be added to the RU TALK mail out list email me at ADTVRUTALK @ gmail . com
To my brotha’s out there, don’t have this image as your relationship caption! Listen to what your woman desires and fix up! @AmaruDonTV *responses are welcome in the comment box below or just tweet me*