Male Fears Part 4: “Not fulfilling my potential” By Amaru Wilcox (@MrAmaru)



 “Not fulfilling my potential”

Imagine if my words and aspirations never materialise…

What if I never achieve for myself, what I’ve always hoped for?

These thoughts run through my mind quite often and no amount of positive or inspirational quotes can eradicate my uncertainties.

However, I am not a defeatist, and why should I be? To be honest, I’m living the progressive entrepreneur’s dream! I am self-made.

This lifestyle resulted in me taking a giant leap from a financial accountant to setting up my own creative agency and visual production company.

I’ve had to exude the entrepreneurial spirit within me, which in turn has helped me build and create my own opportunities.

So why do I still have this constant fear?

Sometimes in life one plus one doesn’t always equal two. Sometimes hard work and commitment doesn’t always reap success and opportunities. And Unfortunately, perseverance doesn’t always have the desired results in the end.

Moreover, I want to hone in on the “Results”. For me, being Nigerian, culturally it’s always been about results, and in business it was always about “The bottom line”. Regardless of your intentions or motives, if you do not obtain the results, it can end up meaning nothing, in some cases.

Now let’s connect these principals to that of the male/female relationship paradigm.

With serious relationships, at a certain point, the goal of “Results“, and “The bottom line“, will without a doubt, creep in. We can rephrase it as “Goals” or “Dreams” but they have to align.

But trust me, there comes a time when your lady comes to you considering the relationship status with that self-auditing question: “Where’s this going?” and as the man if you do not have that preferred answer she needs/wants to hear, it maybe because we are  yet to realise our potential and just cruising along with the ambition card.

Generalisations are things most like to avoid but the commonality of what women like are usually similar – “Women like ambition” but as the Man we’ve have to show you that we’re worth the risk.

It is also commonly known that ‘SOME’ women without a doubt love a “Project/Challenge”. I believe that women are inherently designed to nurture and as such they want to GROW with us, to be on that journey from the ground up to the very top. But that journey is not meant to be stuck on the ground floor!

However, and this is a huge self-reflecting question, as a man can you deliver on that promise of fulfilling your potential? and what is it that we are promising our ladies?

Or are we bringing this lady on a hapless journey where the dreams/aspirations are only ever going to be just that?

I know many of my brotha’s men feel downbeat, emasculated, whole heartedly ashamed of our current circumstance in not being “There yet”.

It is indeed truly frustrating not being able to deliver the things we feel our committed/faithful partner deserves. This is even more evident for people entering the field of broken promises and faltering dreams in the music business.

If you break it down: “Fulfilling potential” to a man basically equates to being in a position to financially provide, protect and meet the immediate/future needs of his family/friends/partner/children.

Whilst positive thinking is needed in life there’s a point where us men need to be aware that we aren’t bringing down our progressive women by tying them in emotional bondage, and dragging them down into our inadequacies/failings.

This #Rutalk is very sporadic in the sequence and layout of my thoughts. Because of that, I do not think this is the best structure for you as the reader to relate to my thoughts, so I apologies in advance for that.

I struggled on the right way to convey these thoughts, so I’m just throwing the colours on the canvas.

Nevertheless, I’ve got a few things that I want you to ask yourself:

If the person you’re with doesn’t fulfill their promise or potential to the detriment of your own circumstance would you stick it out?

At one point do you realise that it’s better to walk away from a situation that may never happen for you?

The scary thing is that many of us men will never reach our potential or reach the pinnacle of our aspirations. Sounds blunt, sounds cynical, sounds depressing, but its real.

Ambition is not an assurance for prosperity in a capitalist society.

#Rutalk  Check out the previous parts below.

  1. Male Fears Part 3: “Missing out on potential relationship opportunities” By Amaru Wilcox @MrAmaru
  2. Male Fears Part 2: “You Will Go Back To Him” By Amaru Wilcox (@MrAmaru)
  3. Male Fears Part 1: “The Fear of Rejection/Opening up” By Amaru Wilcox

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