By Amaru Wilcox
Whether it’s our job to hunt and make the first move, it damn sure hurts when you get rejected. Rejection. No one likes it! Let’s be honest now. As a guy, you get a lot of first round rejection. You don’t even get a phone number or a second chance to meet. Just a flat: ‘Umm, NO.’
As men, we are meant to be happy and fine with this but it’s not so. We hurt too! Well our ego that is lol.
The increased popularity of the friend zone paradigm has really polarised the issue at hand.
Let’s define the word rejected “Dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one’s taste” got dang that don’t sound nice!
I’ll keep it solid with you out there. I’ve been rejected in my old school days and it can knock the wind out of your sails. It can make you lose temporarily that diddy bop stride in your step and doubt your DRAWING a girl capabilities. Sounds crewed. But what is a fisherman who’s net has holes and can’t catch any fish??? he is not a fisherman as you are judged by the fish you catch. Analogy may sound bluuugggh but work with me.
The opening statement of this piece says: “The fear of rejection/opening up”.
It’s hard to get rejected unless you’ve opened up in some way. The feeling of being rejected is numbing at times, especially when the girl decides on dating some waste man prick instead, who will just try to sleep with her and then go on to the next one. But that is another issue *sips tea*.
To be honest, I haven’t been rejected in years but it could be argued that I haven’t really opened up in that time frame either. Who knows? I am pulling from paradigms and situations that do not truly reflect me now as a man. If i am to be 100 with you, i do not even really need to make the moves like i did before on the women, they are smart enough to know i am fairly good prospect for any women with sense *blows trumpet*.
But this character game we have to sometimes play in the beginning is L.O.N.G.
Not over sensitive, not over thugged, not too sweet, not too clingy, not too boring, not this and maybe more of that. It’s like being a gymnast, comedian and an actor. Add to this mix: our role in society is being more clouded and the lines of responsibility are becoming less clear, plus financial struggles are greater for us than ever before.
After all this, the ladies tell you to be YOURSELF and that’s where the paradigm of fear starts to evoke. Forget the sayings and aspirational phrases that people tweet all day, every day. What about when you are yourself and you open to a lady and she rejects you? Let’s think about that for a minute.
How many times does a guy have to go through that before they reach a mutual equilibrium of emotions with the lucky lady? Then, what is the impact after all those rejections on the male psyche?
I don’t have the answers. I just wanted to put some of my words out there!
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